The Shock

Things happen that shock you. Today someone I looked up to as a motivator and inspiration was hit by a train and didn't survive. I had only really been introduced to Greg Plitt 6 months ago when he was the guest speaker at a health and fitness convention I went to in the Gold Coast with one of my best friends last year. We listened to him speak for a good 7 hours. And although everyone listened to the same words, everyone took a different meaning.

For me at the time, my career path was hugely up in the air. I had so many things on the go and was unsure where I was headed. You have nothing to lose. One of the he things he said. More then once. The only way you get injured is if you hesitate. And that was what I was doing. I was hesitating. I didn't trust myself and I most certainly didn't believe in myself. It was time to start backing myself

For my friend, she had had a rough year and this was like her wake up call. It was time for her to stand on her own two feet again, to do he hat she wanted to do, what every she wanted to do and forget about the past. The session got me thinking, but it brought her back to life. 

So as soon as the news broke that he was gone, she was on the phone to me. But I didn't answer. She tried again and I still didn't answer, nor did I answer the three times after that either. Finally I did ring her back and she was devastated. The flame that had light the fire back in her had been put out. She had set her goals for the new year and I got her to tell them to me. This was my wake up call. What if today was your last day? Have you done everything you've wanted to do? Have you lived the best possible life you could have? Have you given your absolute all to everything that matters to you? You control the possibilities. 

Within his talk Greg had said that if he died tomorrow he would be happy. He had lived an amazing life and done everything he had wanted to do. Last year was a big one for me and I believe that I am now living the amazing life that I have wanted for so long now. I have a handle on problems that held me back from this amazing life up until now and I finally have the chance to make my mark. I've just got to do it. If I was to die tomorrow, what would I want to be remembered for? Am I living up to that legacy now? 

I will admit I haven't set my goals for the year yet. I have a few targets I want to meet but I am still letting last year sink in. But one thing I have now that I didn't have last year is the the want to be in the fight. If you died tomorrow, would you be happy with what you've done? You've got nothing to lose. 

2014 - Thanks For The Lessons

Another year done. Every year we say it, but where di the year go? Although the months felt like they flew past, this year I felt like it was a long one. There were many good and bad things that happened but now that I think about it, moving forward you never really remember the ‘bad’ things. You remember the things that brought about change or for you to re-assess your future or your present. But if I think way back to 2013 now (2014 is still too fresh in the memory)what were the ‘bad’ things to happen then? I could not actually tell you a solely ‘bad’ thing. I could tell you some of the challenges I faced which have made me grow and change throughout 2014.

For example 2013 was the year I was finally able to understand and accept that I had an eating disorder and how it as controlling my life. So 2014 was the year to fight it. I was put on a food plan by a nutritionist to start my recovery which I kept swaying on and off of if I’m completely honest, but it was a more healthy way of living then what I had been surviving on up until this point and started the re-wiring that my brain needed to understand that food was a fuel source to do the things I wanted to be able to do, rather than the enemy.

I had to more friends jump in to try and help me. I feel terrible because as a look back now I see how resistant I was to both theirs and professional help, and words cannot describe how thankful I am that these amazing people didn’t let me push them away which would have been the easy option for sure. They were my rocks and although I didn’t like to ask for help, they were always there for me when I did need a bit of reassurance that everything was going to be ok and that I was doing the right thing. One convinced me into getting a psych referral. Actually he pretty much had to do it for me because I went to the appointments and completely froze. I couldn’t talk, let alone get out the reason why we were there. So he filled in the massive blanks. I don’t think I was actually ready for it, but would I ever be? I remember at the time thinking I don’t think this is helping me at all, but I sit here now and compare where I am at now with where I was at this time one year ago and there is no doubt that I am a far more healthier and happier version of me. I have been able to eat out, and in front of other people – mainly friends but the occasional stranger.

I think one of the best things that I could have done was the Frantic Nutrition Challenge. At the start of the challenge I was in shock about how much I was apparently under eating. Seeing the numbers of my current intake, compared to the amount I should be eating for my activity levels was a big reality slap. Given that I almost gave up 3 weeks in and had a few people telling me that this was too much for me to handle right now, I have one person to thank for believing that I had this in me and playing bad cop and getting me to keep going. I hated her tough love at the time, but now I know I wouldn’t be where I am today because of it. Although the volume of food can still be overwhelming at times, I can say that I know the food is fuelling my performance and if I have a day where I don’t eat enough, I can feel the difference. The ‘Challenge’ was 8 weeks long, but the first thing that was said to us was that this was not 8 weeks to abs, or get shredded in 50 days. This was the first day of the rest of our life – here was the plan and you need to stick to it. It was a good 15 weeks for me to be comfortable in this challenge, but the discomfort has been worth it.

Another ‘bad’ thing that happened in 2013, which was what I would have seen it as at the time was that I quit swimming. As the time it literally felt like my life was ending. I could just not get back into that pool one more time. But if I wasn’t Chloe the swimmer then who was I? What defined me? How was I different from everyone else? In 2014 I have learnt that I don’t need to ‘be’ anyone or anything. I don’t need a label and you don’t just have to ‘do’ one thing. Quitting swimming launched me into my fitness journey which has brought some of my best friends into my life and given me some of my biggest challenges. As much as swimming taught me so much about my commitment and dedication, these challenges have shaped my attitude and values far more then following that black line could have in the past year. Although I don’t regret hanging up the goggles for a second, looking back with the nutrition base that I have now, I deeply regret the decisions I made about my food while swimming. I had potential just coming from my ability to push through physical and mental barriers, but I was so heavily let down by the massive restrictions I put on my food that there was no way for me to reach that potential. And I am kicking myself now for that.

Moving into 2014 – what do I see as the ‘bad’ things?

The absolute stand out by far has been my wrist injury. It has held me back from Physio work, from moving into my apartment sooner and from training and competing as I have wanted to. But of couple of the very best things to happen in 2014 have been a direct result of this injury.

-          Perth Elite Chix. I was brought on to this new business four days after coming out of hospital. I had expressed my concern about what I was going to do for income and how I was going to fill the time without going crazy. I jumped straight in with no clue how to run a business but I don’t look back for a second. I share this with three other incredible girls and am so proud and excited of the empowering community of strong women we are creating.

-          Gold Coast. In a round about way. A company we were looking at investing in was holding a conference over there and we were invited to go over and learn more about the company its systems and everything behind it. After putting a lot of thought into the possibilities with this company, I decided that it was not the right time to get into this business as where I am currently I am not completely passionate about it as I am with Elite Chix and would not give it 100%. But what I learnt while away on the trip and the time I got to spend with some pretty awesome people was worth it.

My wrist has by far been the biggest challenge I have faced in 2014 – financially, physically, emotionally and mentally. But it is the biggest challenges which create the best change. Everything happens for a reason.

Standout Achievements of 2014

-          Bought an Apartment. In partnership with my dad. And moved into that apartment one week before Christmas. I remember of the 3^rd of Jan 2014 I was asked where I wanted to be in one year from now. My immediate response was ‘not here, in this house’. At the time I didn’t think that was realistic at all…but here I am!

-          First Half Marathon in 1 hr 39 mins and 18 seconds. I was a part of team Peaking Ducks in the Busselton Half Ironman. A spur of the moment decision made by our swimmer giving me 6 weeks to turn from an occasional 10km runner to a half marathon-er. This incredible team of girls put in a great effort and finished 4^th out of the Female teams!

-          3 vs 3. With my two training partners we went from 0-crossfit in 6 weeks. I went from half marathon runner to crossfitter in 5 weeks. After not being able to get a spot in the beginner competition like we had planned on, I had the genius idea of entering us in the intermediate competition. No problems. Except I didn’t know how to lift a bar. So the most experienced out of the three of us decided to call in the reinforcements…cue Crossfit Frantic. After a world of self-doubt, tears, torn hands and nervous pee, we held our own and didn’t come last. Actually even won a WOD and were adopted into the Frantic Family. And so was the start of a very big part of my life.

-          Perth Elite Chix. From 2014, this is what I am most proud of. I never considered myself to be capable of running a successful business. I never thought I wanted this kind of responsibility or did I have that much passion or drive. Surprise! As I steer further away from Physio, particularly when it wasn’t an option, Elite Chix has kept me sane and given me focus. My business partners are my best friends and the vision and mission we have is life changing for so many people and makes me so excited.

-          Tough Mudder round 2. Done in a trio this year – all were very much unprepared in comparison to last year, but we did it for a laugh and to get our Green Legionnaires Headband. Bring on the Pink!

-          Competed in my first Triathlon. And won it. I swore I would never ride a bike, but I was talked into writing and running a triathlon course for our members, which resulted in me also taking part in the 300m swim, 9km ride and 3km run race in the Women’s Pink Triathlon.

-          Augusta Adventure Race. Back with the Peaking Ducks plus one. Far harder for me as the runner then the half marathon but the team I race with made the scratches and bruises worth it.

-          Crossfit Frantic 24 WOD Challenge. One WOD on the hour every hour for 24 hours. 20 people started at 8 finished to raise $2000 for charity and 315 presents for the K-Mart Whishing Tree Gift Appeal. The challenge was exhausting and stuffed me up for a good week to follow. But persevering with a group of hard working and determined individuals was an experience and you never know what you are capable of until you push out of your comfort zones.

The bad that comes along with the good is a journey. And 2014 has been one hell of a journey. I don’t regret anything from this year and as hard as some of the times have been, something good has come of it and has shaped me into me.

2014 thanks for the lessons. 2015…bring it on