Starting

Starting is always the hardest part. Always. Sometimes it is even the decision to start which is hard. It doesn't matter what you are starting, it is something new, something changed and it's most likely unknown. Often scary. But another one I have seen, and is actually pinned to my wall.

'If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try'.

 Yesterday I started something new. Well, I tried something I have done before but under different circumstances. I started over. I am getting better at admitting that I have battled with my share of demons. I have tried getting help before, but I think the last time I tried, I was just doing what I was told to do, I wasn't actually willing to admit I had problems and wasn't ready to let go of what I see as my safety net.

With my surgery coming up, meaning I am going to be out of action for months I, and so it appears a few people around me are worried about how I am going to cope. The fear, stress and anxiety not so much of the surgery and how my arm with respond over the period of time off, but more about how the rest of my body and more importantly, my mind is going to react I have realised, is well beyond what is a normal reaction.And these fears have become apparent everyday have started taking toll on my health. So it's time to face them.

I've always said I hated change. And I still do. But I know that change is what is required to help us grow as a person, live a better happier and more successful life. Change is often the unknown and the uncomfortable. Which is why starting the change can be so daunting. 

You can be scared and nervous and uncomfortable but you can't give up. You have to remember the reasons behind you starting and where it is going to take you whether that be tomorrow, or next week or for me...probably in a few years.  

Starting is the hardest part, and this is one thing I know I'm going to be glad I started.