Who I Am

I remember my first English class in Year 12. Our theme was character and identity. My teacher said that she hated the question 'what do you do?' She said that nothing about her day job defines her as a person. So when she is asked that question, instead of revealing her occupation as an English Teacher, she would instead talk about the things that she enjoys in her life...one of these was being an avid Sex And The City fan. 

At the time, although I understood what she was saying, I didn't really get it. For me at the point in time, I was a swimmer. That's what I did, that's what I knew and that was my life.  A really hard time for me then came when it was time for me to walk away from swimming. 5 years out of school, and swimming was still defining my life. But it had gotten to a point where I was physically and mentally burnt out from what I had put my body and my mind through day in day out for the past 8 or so years and the thought of getting in the water one more time made me break down and cry. So I walked up to my coach one day before training, told him I'm done and went home. He was as shocked as I was. 

But where to go from here? Swimming was my whole life. I planned my social time, my Uni timetable, even when I was going to wash my hair and shave my legs around swimming. So if I was no longer Chloe the swimmer who was I? To be honest I don't think I had actually worked that out yet. I had just found a new label for myself. Chloe the fitness fanatic, or Terminator as I am known to some. 

That was up until yesterday. Yesterday it seem like everything 'I do' was taken away from me, well for the next 2 months anyway. After having explorative surgery on my wrist early this week, I went back to my surgeon and my OT for the results. I need a surgical repair, possibly with a tendon graft to my triangular fibro-cartilage complex (cartilage wedge in your wrist). Following surgery I will be immobilised in a full arm cast for 3 weeks giving me no elbow or wrist movement, then into a half arm cast for a further 3 weeks giving me back my elbow movement. 

What does this mean for 'what I do'? Crossfit is out, gym work is out, swimming is out, Physio work is out, for the first two weeks running is out. I won't be able to write, cut vegetables, tie up my hair and maybe even drive while I'm in the full arm splint. Pretty much everything that fills my days is a no go for at least 3 weeks. I was pretty cut up about it. Even though it is only three, maybe six weeks, it felt like it was going to be a lifetime. 

A friend asked me what can you do? Thinking about this one a little more I have come up with a few things. Firstly I can to have to learn to write with my left hand (I apologize to anyone that is going to have to read my writing over the next coming months). I can use the time to hone my movement analysis skills and pick up on athlete mobility faults, identifying where the fault is and how to fix it, so if I'm lurking in the corner while you're squatting, I'm probably picking you to pieces in my mind. I can coach - boxing, mobility, PT. Just because I can't hurt myself at the moment does mean I can't hurt others...in the nicest possible way. And my list is slowly growing.

So who am I? Well I am still figuring that one out for myself. But what I do know is that I am a 23 year old female with a passion for health and fitness and helping others achieve their best. Even though I can't do much to better my own performance at the moment I am a personal that likes to push others to see what they can do. The next two months are not going to be easy for me, but focusing on more on who I am then what I do will probably be the best thing I can do to get myself through it.