Looking Out For Me

I went to bed Sunday night not feeling amazing, but had put it down to the run I had done that morning - a very warm morning, hills and probably pushing a little too hard. After sleeping poorly, I thought a swim may help. It didn't. I got home and couldn't understand why my brother had a jumper on...turns out I had a temperature.

I felt pretty awful and was about to call in sick to work, which I was suppose to be leaving for in 10 minutes time when I got the message from my receptionist that morning saying both her and the other Physio who was rostered on this morning had called in sick, and when I got to work could I please call all the patients in to see the other Physio to reschedule them? I had to go.

I arrived at work and my manager was already there waiting for me, turns out she had forgotten her keys, took one look at me and said I'm closing your diary, go home. I opened the practice for her, helped her call and reschedule the mornings patients and then called my receptionist at the practice I was on for in the afternoon and pushed everyone back a couple of hours to give me a chance to get a little better.

This is the first time I have ever considered calling in sick/actually gone home because I am sick. I normally try and push through because I worry so much about other people and how my patients are going that I will put their health above my own. But I have someone in my ear at the moment trying to teach me that to be able to help other people, I first need to look after myself. And I think it's finally getting through to me. With the up coming half ironman, where I have two other people depending on my ability to complete this run, looking after myself is definitely on my mind, I don't want to let them down. If that means saying no to my clients at work, then I am going to have to do that because I need to learn that I am just as important as them.

I need to stopping worrying about what I see as what others expect from me and worry more about what I expect of myself, and how best I can meet these expectations. I need to learn to value myself and my skills, so that other will too. I need to worry about me.